it’s another not-me day

I have been hollowed out
and carved like stone
which is,
so curious. 

i am not stone
i am brittle, i am weak
i am breakable
in the best ways
a malleable little thing
can be

Life update / context I have a problem with dealing with emotions. If I have too many of them –if I feel anything too much, or anything beyond happiness or determination or boredom– I tend to panic and then find somewhere to die. Sometimes I spend money through recreational activities (but I can’t), or paint and make a mess, or sit down and listen to music. I also drink tea, eat food or dream of things off in the distance. But usually I just hibernate; shut myself from the world until I wake up with the rawness gone and my body not as alien as it can become. And in these times I absolutely detest other people, but it’s fine, in the sense that I detest myself just as passionately. I don’t like it when I’m not myself, but it’s necessary.

But, you know. Progress. This is a recurring problem that I recognise but refuse to solve.

But sleeping and eating fries awhile ago was good. :>

tell me how to breathe as myself again

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